Slightly Reaffirmed...

I was about to surrender, let it go, get it over and done with and just seal off my fate for the nxt 3 yrs by marrying my company. But somehow, my heart just ain't gonna let me go just liddat and I felt heavy hearted as if I shld continue to fight this battle until I feel a sense of release and freedom and until my heart is finally set free from this "bondage".

So I thought, why not speak to 2nd boss. It's just as good. And speaking to him has kinda reaffirmed certain issues and it's really a nice, warm fuzzy feeling to hear how my 2nd boss thinks of my performance at work and how he tried to make me feel better bout my roles & responsibilities.

Yes...the Gen Y in me is acting up. I love my job...really...i love the ups and downs...the challenges....the freedom and empowerment...the trust that my boss has given to me and how she never really dictate the way I handle my stuff. But much as I wanna remain this way and stay in my comfort zone...whatever I'm doing...just don't feel very HR related....and it's been depressing me because I feel like I'm not learning anything...and it seems as if I have the easiest job in the department. And at times, when i think of the bond, and what I'm doing, it makes me wanna breakdown too. But....

2nd boss reaffirmed me of my performance and showed me how I'm doing more than just what I think I was doing. The experiences I have and how I can tweak it shld I decide to leave for greener pastures. What's most encouraging is this: "You know, I think you have the toughest job among all of us. You know why? Because your job requires so much creativity, not everyone can do it, and u constantly have to come up with creative ideas and I know that's not easy"... I felt so encouraged that somehow actually understands the pressure I'm going thru and sees it from another point of view. And the presentations I'm made to present...some very last min and what I deem as a norm, he put in a good word in front of boss of me....when I had to do a last min presentation in front of all the department heads.

He encouraged me to speak to Boss and not just sign the bond with those uncertainties and even thought he reminded me of our culture and the employee promise, he says...I shld still speak to boss bout it first. I've been holding back because boss seemed so bz and I didn't wanna super impose on her already very heavy schedule meeting up with various pple. But I guess I shld procrastinate no more and JUST DO IT!

I realised how....I seem all positive on the outside, cheery and smily but yet, I'm becoming one of those "EMO person" turning all negative and problematic. Shucks! I hope this don't come with age.

I'm still 18. I know! haha