it's been awhile.....since i filled this space with my thoughts...and feelings....so much has changed....enthusiasm has gone down...
pple come and go......it's gonna be a whole new atmosphere come january...
not as positive as i used to be...
choices....sometimes when you have made them...there's just no turning back. Did I make the right choice? Will I ever regret it in the near future?Can I live with these frustrations tt occur time and again? How many times can I get angry and you'll nv learn. YOu'll just continue to be tt selfish person who tosses me aside when u're with ur frens....never sensitive to my feelings....really....tired and hurt by it. What's the point in saying the same thing again and again?
You just don't care. Focus.Full concentration.what excuses.Should I learn to do the same as well?
I'm gonna learn. Learn to be unfeeling....nonchalant and selfish too. So much for trying to think of ur feelings.for wat?
I tell myself not to cry....I tell myself that this will be the last time....but everytime i say that...it is never the last time. So tough asking myself to trust you again.
I'm becoming numb. numb to all tt u do. like...it really don't matter anymore and i'm just going thru the motions and when i think of the things you've done to hurt me....my heart just aches and it just feels like crying out. Seriously....i just wanna let go, move on and focus on my career.
Climbing this corporate ladder has been so tiring and draining. I need a break...like i can't seem to stay focused...making the slightest mistakes when i knew it cld have been avoided. Trying to act tough....trying to remain patient...patient with all these pple who just can't seem to stop complaining and trying to bear with the shit i have to clear....apologise for the mistakes i made and still get myself settled down.
I miss those days when I cld head to the gym....and yet enjoy coming back to work even if it's really late. All that energy i used to have seems to have faded away....
And it's only this lil space here where I know I can just pour everything out....feel better and move on.
I need my holiday.can't wait for it.
I'm becoming numb. numb to all tt u do. like...it really don't matter anymore and i'm just going thru the motions and when i think of the things you've done to hurt me....my heart just aches and it just feels like crying out. Seriously....i just wanna let go, move on and focus on my career.
Climbing this corporate ladder has been so tiring and draining. I need a break...like i can't seem to stay focused...making the slightest mistakes when i knew it cld have been avoided. Trying to act tough....trying to remain patient...patient with all these pple who just can't seem to stop complaining and trying to bear with the shit i have to clear....apologise for the mistakes i made and still get myself settled down.
I miss those days when I cld head to the gym....and yet enjoy coming back to work even if it's really late. All that energy i used to have seems to have faded away....
And it's only this lil space here where I know I can just pour everything out....feel better and move on.
I need my holiday.can't wait for it.
If you can come up with a million and one excuses..den i can too.
They are so right that this will change after some time....i shld have known better. If busy is an excuse...then I shall....show you what it means to be busy.
all tt a girl wants.....till nw....u just dun seem to get it. it gets so tiring at times...exasperating...am i still searching for the one tt truly understands me? Even the simplest act u can't get. Like....pls....make some effort!
Don't regret it!
They are so right that this will change after some time....i shld have known better. If busy is an excuse...then I shall....show you what it means to be busy.
all tt a girl wants.....till nw....u just dun seem to get it. it gets so tiring at times...exasperating...am i still searching for the one tt truly understands me? Even the simplest act u can't get. Like....pls....make some effort!
Don't regret it!
Neglected
I've neglected this space once again....we're already into the next half of 2011 and I can't help but thank God for the 1st half of the year. It's one tt's been busy,event packed yet fruitful and hw i see I labour not in vain.
God's blessings have been overwhelming...overflowing...so much...I can't contain it. Everything just seems to go so smoothly....passed my driving...like finally...all my events were a succeess altho it was all so packed in 1 month...and presentations for my assignments went so smoothly even tho all these happened in a couple of months...and to be nominated for the award is my greatest affirmation of the work i've produced thus far.
God is faithful even when we aren't and I know i will never let him go.I am a prodigal son..once again....running back to him...and yet....he always welcomes me with open arms.Love unfailing....overflowing.
Thank you God..and I pray that everything will go smoothly for the next half of the year as well. I'm into the last leg of my adv dip....and it clashes once again with 2 major events. Gotta pray for strength!
God's blessings have been overwhelming...overflowing...so much...I can't contain it. Everything just seems to go so smoothly....passed my driving...like finally...all my events were a succeess altho it was all so packed in 1 month...and presentations for my assignments went so smoothly even tho all these happened in a couple of months...and to be nominated for the award is my greatest affirmation of the work i've produced thus far.
God is faithful even when we aren't and I know i will never let him go.I am a prodigal son..once again....running back to him...and yet....he always welcomes me with open arms.Love unfailing....overflowing.
Thank you God..and I pray that everything will go smoothly for the next half of the year as well. I'm into the last leg of my adv dip....and it clashes once again with 2 major events. Gotta pray for strength!
yes! blogging again!went back to church today...with a heavy heart...but it felt so good when the presence of God comforts u...and u can just pour everything out and feel comforted. To know that God still loves me despite everything...and when i felt lousy bout failing and feeling so stupid and....discouraged over certain issues....divine intervention took place....and there were these people...cheering me on...showing me some support. if only my parents were liddat. i can only press on...noeing...i'm not alone...
this CNY has opened my eyes to alot of things....lotsa first time experiences to go thru...
and also shown me hw much differences we have....our priorities are different too....am i asking for too much? or are u really the problem? Do we really come from different worlds? issit time?
on a sidenote....thank God for the frens who've been so supportive...for that encouragement statement A said. if only my parents thought this way. den again...i dun blame them if they dun. Dad has a reputation to answer to.
Starting to feel oh so emo of late. shit. PMS!
and also shown me hw much differences we have....our priorities are different too....am i asking for too much? or are u really the problem? Do we really come from different worlds? issit time?
on a sidenote....thank God for the frens who've been so supportive...for that encouragement statement A said. if only my parents thought this way. den again...i dun blame them if they dun. Dad has a reputation to answer to.
Starting to feel oh so emo of late. shit. PMS!
if only falling in love is that easy....there's so much to do just to keep it going....and it gets so tiring at times..... the BU thought just keeps running thru your mind and you're just so tempted to use it to escape from reality....to avoid all situation and surrender to the battle u've been struggling thruout.
If only religion isn't such a big issue....or that you weren't born a pastor's kid.
i'm tired.
If only religion isn't such a big issue....or that you weren't born a pastor's kid.
i'm tired.
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